Wednesday, September 24, 2008

DAMMIT~!!!!

SOMEONE IMPERSONATED ME ON IRC~!!!!

AND GAVE GUYS MY NUMBER~!!!!

WTF?!!!!

AND SO FAR I'VE RECEIVED SMS-ES FROM LIKE 3 PEOPLE CLAIMING THAT THEY HAD SEEN MY PHOTO AND HAS/HAD CHAT WITH ME IN IRC~!!!!

WTF?!!!!

IT'S BEEN 1 DAMN YEAR SINCE I'VE LOGGED IN DAMMIT~!!!!

I really have to find that asshole son of a bitch ASAP~

STUPID IMPERSONATOR~!!!!

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 12:55:00 am__

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Sunday, September 21, 2008

【Together When… 】
浜崎あゆみ
作词：浜崎あゆみ
作曲：Kunio Tago

僕達は心に同じ/ 我们虽然在心里留下了
伤迹を残しながら/同样的伤痕
背を向けたまま振り返らずに /却仍然背对而行没有回头
そっと强く歩き出しました /只是更用力的向前迈步

変わらないひとつのものを /我曾经相信我找到了
见つけたと信じていた /永恒不变的一样东西
ふたりはそれが変わっていくのを /我们两个人因为感觉到了它在改变
感じて一歩离れた /而分开了一小步
やがてさらに一歩离れた/终于再次分开了一步
伤つかない様に /为了不受到伤害

ありがとうって言いたかった /想要说出谢谢你
ありがとうって言えなかった /却没能说出谢谢你
だってそれじゃまるで永远の /是因为那就如同永远的
サヨナラみたいで悲しすぎるから /再见一般太悲伤了
いつかまた僕は僕に生まれ変わって /如果有一天我能以我的姿态重生
君を探す旅に出るんだろう我会踏上寻你的旅途吧

ある日ふとした瞬间に /某一天在那偶然的一刻
自分で选んだはずの /必定是我自己做出了选择
新しくて见惯れぬ景色に /对于全新却又陌生的景色
少し戸惑っていたら /若是稍感不知所措的话
まるで君のような优しい /就有如同你一般
风が吹き抜けました /温柔的风吹过

爱してると言いたかった /想要说出我爱你
爱してると言えなかった /却没能说出我爱你
だけどそれは僕の最大の /但是感觉那就是像是我最大的
嘘であり真実だった様な気がする /谎言亦是真实一般
いつかまた僕は僕に生まれ変わって /如果有一天我能一我的姿态重生
君を探す旅に出るんだろう /我会踏上寻你的旅途吧

ありがとうって言いたかった /想要说出谢谢你
ありがとうって言えなかった /却没能说出写你
だってそれじゃまるで永远の /是因为那就如同永远的
サヨナラみたいで悲しすぎる /再见一般太过悲伤了
爱してると言いたかった想要说出我爱你
爱してると言えなかった /却没能说出我开你
だけどそれは僕の最大の /但是感觉那就像是我最大的
嘘であり真実だった様な気がする /谎言亦是真实一般
もしも别の谁かに生まれ変わっても /即使有一天我转世成为了另外的一个人
君を探す旅に出るから/我也会踏上寻找你的旅途

<終わった>

i love this song~ <3

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 12:00:00 am__

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Saturday, September 20, 2008

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeps~!!!

dammit~!

running out of photos to practice photoshop sucks~!!!!

dammit~!!!

photographers~!!!!!!

organise photoshoots please~!!!

alucard13 laobu and Ash kitty~!!!!

damn...

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 11:52:00 pm__

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Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Meow~!

I'm one happy girl~!!!!!!

Yipee~!!!!

went and collect out rings today~

mwahahaha~

got our takoyaki's~

then had dinner at KFC~

walked around...

hurhur~

tada~!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pictures~!!!!!!!!!

our rings~!!!!

and

darling's being wacky~

hurhur~

lalalala~

hint hint to darling~!! *click on the hint words*

MWAHAHAHA~!!!!

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 11:50:00 pm__

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Saturday, September 13, 2008

If i could have one wish...

I'd wish for Darling Alex to not be too tired that the moment he touches the bed...

he's sprawled on the bed asleep...

if i could have another wish...

I'd wish SAF to vanish...

If i could have a third wish...

I'd wish to be mini pocket sized...

so that darling can bring me anywhere he wanted to...

If i could have fourth wish...

All i'd ask for is for us to be happy together...

no more quarrellings...

no more tired darling...

no more puffy eyes from crying...

no more sadness...

more hugs...

more kisses...

more fun together...

caring, concern, love...

darling i simply love u too much...

haiz...

if only wishes can come true...

if only there were wishes to begin with...

but i know its all fat hope...

impossible to have...

nah...

haiz...

it's okie...

i'll be okie...

i'll be fine...

just hold on to whatever time we have together...

even though it's difficult...

ciaossu...

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 1:32:00 am__

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Thursday, September 11, 2008

When in love

its not what you can do for them

but what u want to do for them.

理想彼氏わどこ？

無理　です。

愛し was said to have originated from 'Sadness' a long time ago,

So sadness must have been the foundation of love.

is that why there's so much sadness in love?

is that the reason why?

If I'm not around anymore,

will you think of me?

will you miss me?

Maybe you will.

Maybe you won't.

When I'm no longer alive.

I hope that you'll forget me.

Find a better girl.

If ever you find that I'm not good enough

or not suitable for you,

Tell me.

I'll leave and never appear in front of you ever again.

If ever, I cry till I'm blind.

You don't have to take care of me.

Leave me if you want to,

since you'll be fed up with me crying

and its my own fault that I can't see.

I think the next time u say the word

"Break-up" or anything of the likes

I'll disappear and never show up.

You won't every find me anywhere.

I guess,

I'm worthless.

Not worth anything.

Not worth any love, care and concern.

a person unworthy of everything good.

only worthy of everything that's dark.

So be it.

Whatever.

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 10:00:00 pm__

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Just because i said " can i throw away the bottle?"

we quarrelled...

you said i'm selfish...

all i wanted was simple...

then when i became unhappy...

you said i'm giving you arrogant high up attitude and that u don't deserve it...

I didn't say anything more...

then you got angry...

of all people...

you should understand...

maybe its too much to ask of you...

to understand how painful, how alone can it get...

when i'm hospitalised...

you weren't there...

you didn't know how many asthma attacks i had...

how the pain was unbearable...

so unbearable that i squirmed and rolled on the bed...

i could neither sit nor eat...

i cried...

when i got home...

you're out on outfield...

couldn't blame you...

stupid SAF's fault...

but do you understand the pain i'm going thru?

i couldn't sleep...

i couldn't eat...

I'm scared.

I'm alone.

i puked blood...

i fainted...

no one knows...

didn't tell u coz i didn't want u to worry...

do you understand all the mixed feelings i'm feeling?

all the pain, sorrow, uneasiness, loneliness, frightened, worrying, dizziness...

You said breakup so easily...

seems like i'm only your toy...

for you to play...

for your pleasure...

nothing of the romantic sort...

Maybe i should learn to take my heart back bit by bit...

Maybe i shouldn't trust u that much...

since you didn't trust me either...

Maybe i should just disappear...

from everyone...

from everywhere, from this world...

Seems like nobody can truly tolerate each other...

I'm all battered and torn...

both physically and mentally...

in the past i've had people coming to my blog calling me insane bitch, crazy, stupid, depressive slut, shameless bitch, whore...

what else is there to come?

I've had enough...

yeah...

i'm crazy...

yeah...

i'm a depressive bitch...

whatever you wanna call me...

Words can kill...

I tried killing myself coz of what my dad said and because of stress once...

I went crazy once cause of my family and maki...

During that period i couldn't recall anything...

i lived in denial, rejected everyone who came near me, screamed hysterically, banged my head against the wall or the table, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, i just kept crying and laughing, cry myself to sleep then wake up and cry again, i stared into blank space...

haha...

yeah...

i'm demented...

Back off.

Yeah...

I'm nuts...

yeah...

i'm always unwanted...

i should distance myself away from everybody...

yeah...

i'm redundant...

i should just die off...

no one will bother anyway...

you can say i'm selfish or whatever you want...

Heck~!

My life is Trash~!

I'm unwanted trash...

I belong to the bin...

Forget it.

Forget me.

Forget everything...

I should learn never to fall so deeply in love ever again...

or should i say...

NEVER FALL IN LOVE AGAIN...

End.

Period.

Fullstop.

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 8:40:00 pm__

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Woke up in pain...

all alone in the room...

the bolster and pillows doesn't really have your scent anymore...

can't help missing him...

can't help crying...

didn't wanna give him stress..

didn't wanna depend too much on him either...

cannot...

when he's overseas i wouldn't be able to contact him...

if i keep depending, keep missing him so much, keep wanting to hear his voice, keep wanting to contact him, keep worrying for him...

will darling be stressed?

then how will i survive when he's overseas?

should i stop mahz?

the pain is getting unbearable...

darling...

i need ur hugs...

someone just hug me and let me cry...

Note to self: "Stop being so darn weak~!"

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 7:11:00 am__

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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

I can't help it...

i cry whenever i think of u~

i miss you..

damn SAF took u to tekong...

shit them...

can't help it...

i hate myself...

i guess i never told anyone about that...

no point bah...

nobody cares...

haha...

i'm just a nobody...

nothing to anyone...

being stuck...

haiz...

forget it...

i shall keep everything to myself once more...

never shall i say anything again...

all shall be within...

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 12:15:00 am__

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Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Argh~!

pain in the lower abdomen area~

i can't sleep

fuck it~

it doesn't seem to get better...

i couldn't be not enough rest...

haiz~

seriously in need of someone to take care of me...

sorry darling cried for me a few days ago...

coz he felt sorry for leaving me all alone for so long...

coz he couldn't take care of me...

he didn't want me to see him tearing up...

tried to hide from me...

he said sorry coz he couldn't hold back the tears...

STUPID SAF'S FAULT~!

seriously it's so difficult for us to spend some quality time together~

haiz~

damn~

i dun wan hubby to be so tired everyday...

i wanna see hubby alex every single day~

even if its just a few hours...

please...

is it so hard?

blame teh stupid idiotic SAF...

they suck balls... T.T

darling u said it's time to lock me up with a ring...

awaiting that day...

darling u said that it's a surprise for me...

don't worry it's still a surprise...

coz i don't know when you will present it to me...

*remind u of 命中注定，我爱你~*

I sincerely pray to heaven
so that we can
have some quality time together...

I sincerely pray
that you don't have to be so tired...

I sincerely hope
that we can be together
till the end of both of our times...

I sincerely hope
that everything will turn out alright...

I sincerely hope and pray...
for us to be loving and caring for each other...
till death do us part...

I'll love you till the day i stop breathing~

http://www.shoppinglifestyle.com/microsite/200808_contest/index.asp?r=mjoh{j/2:99Ahnbjm/dpn

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 12:20:00 am__

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lalala~

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 12:19:00 am__

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Wednesday, September 03, 2008

omg~!

I'm so happy~!

Alex hubby came home from his camp as a surprise for me~

*by right he won't be home till Thursday*

i missed him so~

omg~

i love him so much~

thanks for coming back~

i needed you~

but you're too tired to stay awake and accompany me~

its okie~

take a rest~

you're on duty tomorrow~

so you can't sleep much either~

get more rest bah~

you're been too tired~

thanks for doing so much for me~

I'm sorry i must have been a burden to you...

i know I'm quite useless...

I'm lazy...

thanks for the surprise you gave me...

i love it...

thanks for the hugs...

thanks for the kisses...

thanks for giving me warmth when i needed it...

don't feel bad for not accompanying me when 'something' happens...

you can't be with me...

it's not that you don't want to...

you're busy...

stupid SAF made you so...

you're tired...

stupid SAF made you so...

sorry to have made darling so worried about me...

I'm just happy that you can be back at home...

so i can see you...

I'm happy just having you by my side...

i just hope that you feel the same way...

i smile when i see your cute sleeping face...

i cry when you flare up at me / ignore me...

I'm happy whenever you hugged and kissed me...

I'm sad when you're tired mainly because of me...

sorry that you have to do so many things...

my emotions are controlled by you...

my heart is yours...

take care of it...

hold me tight...

love me tenderly...

I'm your koala/kitty/piggy...

you're my eucalyptus tree/doggy/piggy...

I love you...

and i miss you the moment you're away...
I cherish the time we had together
<333

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 1:54:00 am__

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Tuesday, September 02, 2008

lost something so precious and dear...

i feel so empty without it...

feeling sadness deep within me...

for i don't wanna lose it...

sigh.

enough of that...

trackback link

why are guys so stupid...

MCPs...

judging and stereotyping people...

guys just want a gf to boost their ego?

guys wants a gf who looks stupid?

wtf is the world coming to...?

ridiculous...

why is makeup done just to look good a phoney?

there's no plastic surgery involved anyway...

its also us...

but why some guys can't except it that we wanna look good?

we wanna look good so you'd be proud of us...

instead of like at the start of the relationship you say "you're simple and pretty"

and then as time goes by you say "you're fat and ugly"

makeup is not a crime~

its just how we make ourselves look good...

MCPs who stereotype should just buzz off...

okay enough about that issue~

dammit i need new makeup...

but there's no one whom i can go shopping with...

Alex's not around~ *stupid SAF for taking him*

i'm not allowed outside till i recover anyway...

dammit...

I NEED NEW MAKEUP~!!!!!!

dammit...

wishlist:

- Makeup brush set *i lost mine dammit* - $??

- Chanel's Exceptional De Chanel Mascara - $46
or
- Inimitable's Inimitable Waterproof Multi-dimensional Mascara - $??

- RMK's Super Basic Concealer - $29
or
- Clinique's All About Eyes Concealer - $35

- RMK's Makeup Base - $53

- Bourjoise's Three tone palette eye shadow Black - $??

- Bourjoise's Three tone palette eye shadow Brown - $??

- Bobbi Brown's Crystal Lip Gloss - $33

- Shiseido's Maquillage Smooth Lip Liner in nude - $47

Others:

Basically i just need long lasting *those in bold are in dire need*
- Concealer - Fair skin tone *i need a better one then the one i got at missha*
- Foundation - Natural *ZA's Foundation number 32*
- Mascara - Black
- Eyeliner - Black and White
- Eye Shadow - Black and Brown
- Make-up Base - Normal skin
- Nude Lip Liner
- Make-up Brushes
- Lip Gloss
- Lip Stick - pinkish nude
- Lip Matte
- Blush *not necessary, i still have my Chanel's Irreelle blush in 20 Enigma*
- Eyelashes *any nice ones to recommend?*
- Contact lenses - Brown/Blue/Purple
lalalala~!!!! that's all i'm done~
and i'm changing my chatterbox to cbox coz its better...
tagworld deletes all my posts *dammit*...

changing my blog wallie soon~

_~.:: <3 †Misha- <3 Alex ::.~_
>> titledat 4:03:00 pm__

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